”Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn. Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story. “
As I grow older and experience life changing shifts in my life. I am learning tough lessons. The people that I thought would always be by my side … aren’t… I have lost more friends in the last few years that I couldn’t imagine living my life without.. but guess what it happened and my shift in life wouldn’t of happened if I didn’t let go of what didn’t serve me a greater purpose.
I will never again assume that the people in my life will grow with me or have the same revelations as me or even ever understand who I am becoming. I have come to realize finally after many years, tears, thoughts, and questions like “What have I done?”
“Why do they treat me differently.” “How can I fix this.”
That it’s not me it’s them! I have grown into someone I love entirely and have become someone they will never understand. As I continue to grow, move forward and follow my purpose driven life, they remain in the same place…and choose to try to make me feel broken, like I’ve done something wrong. When really it’s them who are broken, lost and stuck.. I never thought time would show me that the people I love and thought could ever possibly hurt me, or make me feel lost and frankly ostracized.. have done just that.
I wrote this blog after another revelation I had this weekend. I am preaching about a healthy lifestyle, and that we have choices. I preach about working on ourselves and “self love” “mindful living” and I preach that if we don’t “let go; we will be dragged under”
And yet I still find it hard to make, tough decisions, but I know its necessary for my calm, my inner peace, and my life. I now can finally say thank you to all of you for the lessons learned, and the wisdom acquired. I wish you well in life… but it’s time to “move on!”
Our time and who we spend it on becomes all the more precious, as we grow older. Time is a gift, I don’t want to waste it on people who deplete me, and treat me disrespectfully. While this may sound selfish, it’s just part of maturing and realizing how important it is to surround myself with positive, kind, and healthy people who enrich my life, have my back, and who do the right thing not the expected thing, and just simply make me happy.
Although I’m well aware that I am far from perfect, and I never strive to be! I know I am dedicated, invested and have lots of love to give those who love me unconditionally and gosh..I know I still have so much to learn..
I’m beginning to think that perhaps I am not the only one who requires a large amount of an investment of time, energy and love. I can only hope that when it’s their turn to break again, they will realize that although broken can’t ever be put back the same way; it can be put back together stronger then it was before; only then will you start to see all the glorious rays of light shining through the cracks… that’s our light! So let it shine!! I won’t let anyone take away my light! I have earned it.. It’s called living!
“Marianne Williamson put it best in one of her most widely acclaimed quotes, which I will paraphrase: There’s no wisdom in dimming your light to make another feel better. Shine. We are meant to shine — without apology and with gusto. It’s incumbent upon us to seek our internal light, nurture it and beam it for the world to see. There should be no better place to do this than in the company of true friends”